Posted by Manuell on September 08, 2000 at 13:18:52:
In Reply to: Help with a Greek Goddess posted by Dante Longoria on August 20, 2000 at 20:02:03:
Dante,
I feel for you, it's hard dealing with Ethnic groups because of their beliefs & traditions. They are still stuck in the 1900's!!! As my self I am italian, and my parents were never subjective to who I would marry but yes, they would have preferred an "Italian:" However, I brought home and married a Greek man. My cousin who also married a greek man her inlaws did not want her to be part of the family because she was not GREEK, and they fought night and day with their son and never noticed my cousin as a person they just saw that she was not GREEK, they didn't want to go beyond it, and it was wrong! Her boyfriend at the time didn't want to let his parents down and he was afraid of them and just couldn't take the hassles his parent's were giving him, and they specifically told him you marry that Italian girl you will be disowned! Imagine how ridicoulous it sounds! In fact he left my cousin at the time, and then he started to resent his parents as time went by and he ended up going out with a few greek girls because he figured he had no choice than to marry a greek girl, but it's not what he wanted, until one day he told his parents that it was his life and his choice and if they wanted to disown him to go right ahead he didn't care!. After 2 years he called up my cousin and they got back together. Today they are married and expecting their first child.
What I am trying to tell you is do what your heart tells you, because sometimes your soulmate will not be the same origin as you, but as long as you two could battle it together and stick by each other to the end, there is nothing standing in your way.
The girl you are interested in, she fears her parents, and she can't seem to bring herself to stand up to them. I know how that is, because my parents were so strict that I couldn't breath, I know they didn't mean bad by it, but it could ruin a person. I couldn't even take a walk with a girlfriend if I wanted to at the time when I was single, it's awful and I feel for that poor girl. Ethnics sometimes think they are doing good for their children, but I find they just ruin them down the line of life. FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT and you will get it, as long as you stick together and be ready for many arguments and name calling!! Listen, my parents never said much about me marrying a Greek but there were times when I heard too, like "There are so many Italian boys out there, you couldn't find one" or "We can't even speak to him in Italian,, blah blah blah" then the question on what religion our children will be either catholic or orthodox" You know, I hated being controlled, and I told them straight it's not your problem it's mine! The religion we choose for our children will be between myself and my husband not theirs; you can't speak to him in Italian, well I will translate for you!! You know what today, they love my husband more than anything, and my husband picked up the language as I picked up the Greek language for his parents!! Sorry for the long email, but you really want her, then stick by her through good and bad times, remember one thing there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. GOOD LUCK
Manuella