Re: deceived by handsome married Greek man with child

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Posted by Cessie on September 21, 2000 at 09:13:21:

In Reply to: Re: deceived by handsome married Greek man with child posted by sylvia on September 21, 2000 at 01:32:47:

: Dear Cessie,
: I really do feel for you but where there no signs before???? I mean you never noticed anything? How did his family react? Afterall you have been in their family for ten years! I cannot believe how he could treat you like this and really I hope you are going to meet the love of your life soon, like I said before he was not worthy of your love.
: me agapi, sylvia

Dear Sylvia,
It is a good question and one I have asked myself. How could I have misinterpreted so much? I found a book called "Romantic Deception" which explains how thousands of women are deceived by their lovers all the time. For starters, I fell in love with him, head over heels, from the beginning. I thought he loved me too, all those years. When we first met, I asked all the right questions. "Do you have a girlfriend, are you free for a relationship, what do you want?" The answers were "no current girlfriend, many women in the past, now looking for a real relationship..with you." He gave me his parents' phone number and told me to call anytime, he lived with them. The parents never let on to me that he was married. How could parents cover up like that? My values and my family values were different from him. I had children, and he seemed to love them. When we first met, he explained that his lifestyle was to go to Greece in the summers (only) and work here with the parents the rest of the year. Somehow, it turned into every 6 months in Greece and 6 months in the U.S. but it was never clear in advance when he would return. We went on like this year after year with promises he would marry me. When I would ask about marriage, he would tell me "soon", "be patient", and then suggested I could move to Greece and we could get married. He never introduced me to the parents although I asked. I thought I should respect his culture and believed that Greeks don't introduce women to the parents until engagement. Anything I didn't understand in his behavior, I rationalized and thought it might be "different" but attributed it to fear of commitment. I am an intelligent woman with a college degree. Never in my life have I felt so stupid, and tricked. That is not the point. I just miss him, even after all this. Need to get over it. What is your opinion? (anyone else who is reading this, please reply also). Thank you..and I love the Greek people I have met, both here and in Greece.

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