Posted by Mihalis on November 06, 2000 at 07:17:05:
In Reply to: Why do so many intercultural relationships end?? posted by Joy on November 05, 2000 at 06:51:12:
I am 30 years old. I am a successful Greek-American man. I am married to a wonderful woman who is American. I am the first person in my family to marry a non-Greek and somehow, it is because I overcame the brainwashing. Greeks are ethnocentrists. They think that their culture is the richest and best. Greeks are also very fearful people. They fear that if their kids get into a relationship with a non-Greek that the Greek culture will be subordinate to the other and die. In fact, that is not even enough. As Natalie put it above....even being Greek is not good enough in many cases since you are not from their village or island or area.
Greek bigotry is the most closely guarded secret in the world. When I was young, they kept trying to get me to marry all sorts of women from their village, but, my parents would not even accept a Greek from some other place. Greek parents are all about CONTROL. Everything has to do with "we" and "us". There is no "me" or "I". I can honestly say that there are some relationships between Greek and non-Greek that work but the couple has to have a Greek member who has a spine and is an individual. I am ashamed at what my mother said about my wife without even knowing her. My grandmother has not spoken to me in five years. We have a beautiful son and my wife is a great woman. I knew when I met her that she was the one that I would "give it all up for".
Why give it up? Because the Greek society is too short sighted to lose their ethnocentrism. The Greek church is too far back to accept other christians as equals. The double-standard between men and women is alive and well in this culture. No woman worth her salt will stick with a Greek man in that kind of environment.
In the end, it boils down to an inordinate amount of brainwashing and emotional abuse. Relationships are hard enough without obstacles such as narrow-minded parents to overcome. Hope this helps. We are going through this again with my brother and as you'd expect, it's my fault ;-)
Post a Followup