Posted by ANA on July 18, 2000 at 21:35:38:
In Reply to: Advice on inter-cultural relationships posted by Sarandos on July 11, 2000 at 05:55:57:
I would like to begin by saying that I am a young,Greek, married woman married to another Greek. Although my husband and I are very happy, his family still manages to find fault. Not only were their expectations of my husband to marry a Greek girl,but someone from his village in particular. We used to socialize with people from his village but when they found out that we were going to be married they disassociated themselves from us. I was good enough to date, not good enough to marry, sound familiar?
I mean, thank goodness that my husband saw in me all of the good things that his family would never see. They never gave me a chance. The last thing any girl needs, Greek or not is a mamma's boy!! Really, when you decide who to date, or even marry did not dragging this poor person into the mess occur to you. Esapecially if you don't have the nerve to stand up for them or for yourself. Things like this should be casual, last a few months. Don't move into their house, share their expenses and don't try to control their life. They will go on and find some to love them the way they are, for who they are. I know this may be hard for you to admit.
Maybe Mom and Dad have such a hold on you, it is impossible for you to lead your own life.
Instead of worrying about your poor,distraught, guilt driven parents all of the time, you should focus on what is important to YOU. I personally have found plenty of people who would love to be apart of such a rich culturl, which we are already so fortunate to be a part. Remember you are not asking for these people to love each other, just tolerate. Time heals all wounds and quite frankly, whoever tries to preassure you either way, after the resentment passes, will aleinate you.