Posted by Belinda on March 11, 2001 at 15:01:59:
In Reply to: Re: serious question posted by Tony on March 09, 2001 at 08:31:14:
** Tony I hear what you are saying in regards to "if this was my sister.... blah, blah, blah" but at the end of the day "beating the shit" out of someone is wrong. What he does and what you do would be no different, besides if you had actually read Hopes messages you would see that he hasn't been physically violent but verbally abusive towards her. Which in a lot of cases is worse than having the "shit" beaten out of you.....
I agree totally that any man that resorts to verbal/physical abuse is a coward and not a man, but in this type of situation hearing that the "one" you love is such a monster, hurts. It really isn't as easy as just leaving, getting a divorce or whatever. At the end of the day the person (whether man or women) who is being either physically or verbally abusive is the one who is creating the situation and its the victim who has to make the decision to leave. It can't be an easy situation as you think about the person you love, if they were being volient towards you in whatever context would you just leave, straight away without giving it a second thought??
What about if your father was very domineering and persisted on you doing certain things with your life that you didn't want to do - you agrued about this and he struck you. What would you do?? Would you never talk to him again?? Would you leave the whole family behind because he lost his temper?? Think about it - I know your probably thinking "Well, that would be different" but its not - they hit you once chances are they will hit you again or they call you a "slut" chances are they will do it again!! Abuse, anger, rage whatever you may call it, does have an effect on everyone around you but it is a illiness that can be healed if given the chance.
I don't mean to go on about this but if I had a dollar bill for everytime I heard "Well if that was my friend, mother or sister I would beat the shit out if him" I would be rich.
Violence doesn't stop Violence.
: Hi -- I didn't mean to come accross as one of those PC jerks (i am SO not) and I apologize if i did. I don't want to rub salt into your wound Hope, but is divorce not an option? If it's gotten to the point where you feel like this, why are you staying with him? Why are your brothers not findsing this guys and beating the hell out of him? If you were my sister, so help me God the guy would be laid out in intensive care. i have zero patience and tolerance for men like that, they are cowards and deserve no sympathy from anyone. I wish you courage and hope, Hope. Don't let this bastard get the better of you. be safe and seek the help you need -- the lady from New Zealand is on the right track and such organizations exists everywhere... seek one out close to you.
: : : Thank you for the reply and I am sorry that you think I am implying this applies only to greeks. I am greek to and I know that this is a big problem for all nationalities.
: : : It just so happens that my experience was with a greek boy.
: : ** Hope, I don't think you should take that response to heart, but Tony has a point. I think maybe if you hadn't actually mention that your boyfriend is 'Greek' then maybe he wouldn't of been offended. From reading your message it sort of sounds like your asking readers whether what your partner is doing to you is a Greek thing - which I am sure you didn't mean for it to sound that way.......
: : Anyway I work for the 'Womens Refuge' which here in New Zealand is an organisation for women who have been verbally & physically abused by men. We are by no means a 'man hating' organisation - hey at the end of the day there isn't anything nicer than a true gentlemen to look after his lady. But if you need to talk to someone please feel free to drop me a line:
: : email@example.com
: : Good Luck
: : Belinda
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