Posted by George on May 29, 2000 at 11:19:48:
In Reply to: relationships.... posted by o.s.marcussen on May 09, 2000 at 04:19:25:
: Have been toghether with a greek boy now, for a year.
: I`am living in Norway and he in Greece.But our relationship has survived because of the good contact and all my trips to Greece....
: But there is so many things I can`t understand about our relationship, and I hope you can help me here....
: First of all I wonder how a greek man is when he get`s married. Is it like the woman have to do all the things at home, or....?
: Second, when a realitonship brakes up, is it then normal that they will not be friends after this?
: And the last one, what do greek people think about foreign girls "taking" their boys away from them?
: I know I have so many other questions, and I hope I can get back to you about this later.
: But thanks for this time!
Shouldn't you be asking your future husband these questions? I don't know how
well you communicate with your boyfriend but it seems to me that if you have to
ask other people's opinions about something that you should be discussing with
your mate, then there might be a slight communication problem. Correct me if
I'm wrong.
I know for a fact that yes, greek men feel that a womens place is in the
kitchen, greek men are terrible communicators & greek men can also be very
misogynistic. There are, however, exceptions to the rule. I would say sit your man
down, look straight in his eyes & ask him what you want to know. Eye contact is
very important. If he starts getting nervous & turns away or becomes aggressive
& argumentative, then you know that it will be very difficult for him to change his
ways. So it is really up to you whether you want to endure this type of
relationship till death do you part. I know that everything seems nice when you
are far away & remember that it is you making the effort to go see him from what I
read in your post.
Yes, greek men have a problem with maintaining friendships after a break-up. But why
are you already thinking of the worst case scenario. Darling, you are setting yourself
up for failure. Is this the man you really want to marry? In my opinion, I don't think
you're ready yet. Remember you guys are far apart. First you have to live together to
see if it will really work. Everything is beautiful when romance is in full bloom, which
has lead to many a heartbreak. You have to live together to see how you can cope
with each other. Believe me, you will see his true colors this way. It's the only way,
because yes, once you are married, he will change, there is no doubt about that.
As far as what greeks think about taking their boys, that's not your problem, that's
their problem. If you truly love this person & he loves you & you feel that this is it,
then you have to do what's right for you. You are living YOUR life, you're not
living for others. Don't worry about what people think. Love has a way
of conquering hate.
So in closing I will say this. Don't hesitate, comminicate. It is the only way. If you
feel that this man will control you, then he's not for you. On the other hand I could
be wrong. You're going into this 50/50 & he has to understand that. There is no
other way. Judging from your post, you are not Greek, so you have different
traditions. It doesn't sound like you would want to be alone in the kitchen, even
though most of the worlds chefs are men (ironic isn't it?) so I think you have
a lot of work to do. COMMUNICATE!! Don't be afraid to talk to him & good luck!!