Re: Greek Orthodox Wedding Question ?

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Posted by Susan on January 27, 2002 at 20:49:47:

In Reply to: Re: Greek Orthodox Wedding Question ? posted by Alexia on January 25, 2002 at 00:05:00:

: : My girl friend has accepted to be the Matron of Honor (she is not of the Greek Orthodox Faith, there is a best man and he is). She has been told (1 week before the wedding) that she is to pay for a lot of things - bon bon yeri, christening of the babies etc. (She is happy to do this but does not have any money at this point in time - being a full time student)

: This sounds rather disgusting and rude to me, to tell someone a week before the wedding of a whole bunch of expenses they will be responsible for, and to a full time student as well, I mean she should have been told of this when offered this position, any reasonable person can see that. They sound very sly...I can't imagine them trying to pull something like this on a fellow Greek.

: I suspect your friend must be from a very comfortable background, and they are simply expecting her parents to foot the bill, to just pay for everything like Greek parents do...

: It’s “traditional” to choose ‘koumbaroi’ that are to some degree (the more the better) wealthier than you. In the old days, peasants would try to score say, the village doctor and/or his wife for these positions, thereby obtaining an influential/wealthy patron for their child. Also, while the person who does the ‘stefana’ (wreaths)is supposed to be offered the opportunity of being a godparent (can this position be offered to a non-orthodox christian? – I suspect not) to the first child, they are free to refuse. Oh, and it's the godparent’s privilege to choose the name of the child, though I don’t think many people would follow that these days...

: : I want to know whether this is correct or should this really be the responsibility of the best man since I've been told that tradition usually lies with the man.

: As far as I know, the obligation of paying for the bonbonyeras belongs to the groom’s parents. I found this out because a Greek female I know was to be married to a Greek Cypriot male, and they do not have a tradition of giving out bonbonyeras and made known their intention of not buying any just to humor our customs. The mother of the bride then decided to buy some herself for the guests she was inviting, and if there were any leftovers, the other guests would be welcome to them.

I would have to agree with Joanna on this one but I just wanted to add that I am greek cypriot and I thought that we all belonged to the same Greek Orthodox religion and that we had the same beleifs. It is peoples customs and traditions that change this and this is the case whether the person in from Cyrpus or Crete or Rhodes or the Peloponese or any other part of Greece. My family and every other Greek (Cypriot or otherwise) I know has the tradition of giving bonbonyeries so it could have been that your friend came across a very differnt type of Greek Cypriot.


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