Posted by Joanna on February 07, 2002 at 04:11:21:
In Reply to: Re: Divorce and the Greek Culture (religion) posted by Susan on February 06, 2002 at 21:53:18:
: Thank you for your response. I do agree with what you have to say. I guess my reason for asking this question is based on something I have read and advice I have received.
: There seems to be in the Greek culture or religion (I am not sure exactly which one or even the real difference between the two) an undisclosed perception that women must obediently submit to their husbands in all situations.
: Many women have been physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually abused by their husbands wielding the submission verses as a weapon. When they finally tell their priest about their husband's rage-outs, they are often not believed, and sometimes they are told that if they would learn to submit the violence would stop. Then they are counseled that it would be a sin to separate and hold the husband accountable for what is a crime! Some abused women, who feared for their lives, have actually been told, "Don't worry. Even if you died you would go to be with God. So you win either way. Just keep praying for him. But you are not allowed to leave."
: A majority of preists also say it is better for wives to endure violence against them than to seek a separation that might end in divorce.
: I was also told that separation with the goal of reconciliation is often the only way to motivate an abusive husband to get help. Just as we cast a broken limb to enable it to heal, separation is like putting a cast on a broken relationship as the first step to enable change and healing.
: What do you do when the situation is that later and you have fully expressed this to your husband? I guess you may not have the answer to this but I just wanted to understand a greek persons view. Is it because I left? Does it not matter why I left? Is divorce a really bad and unforgivable sin?
Susan,
I don't believe that a woman should stay in an abusive relationship. And sometimes a priest's advice is wrong. I was shocked to read above that a priest would say that even if you died at least you would go to be with God. I would think it better if the woman left saving her life and thus her husband's from God's wrath. Ultimately you should listen to your own conscience. You have a right to develop your spirituality free from violence. Separation and divorce is not your sin at all. It is his sin for driving you away.
Joanna