Posted by Victor on February 20, 2002 at 14:28:05:
In Reply to: Re: His mother didnīt accept me posted by lena on February 20, 2002 at 13:13:24:
Yes I have a problem with people like YOU. My comments are nasty? oh I am sorry! But you see me neither I just can't sit back and read all that crap coming from you. It's a Greek message board, I wish I could talk more about the beauty of Greece, Greek culture etc. But then there is people like you, who keep coming here and talk about Greek Muslims THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GREEK MUSLIM!!!! or about mating with black people and seeking advice from us. What do you think?? It's not troubling me, it's making me VERY angry. I like Greece a lot and I can't let it be spoiled by people like you. And don't invent things, I never exalted myself about my pure Greekness because I am not a "pure" Greek. I have never lived in Greece for a long period of time but I am very proud of my roots, of my ancestors, and I come here to meet other people who are proud to be Greek not people who say it's cool to mix, or be Muslim. That's not how you show how proud you are to be Greek!!!! You need advice here it is: first I think your parents should be very tough on you. Secondly, don't expect them to be cool with your relationship for a long time, not until they get used to it and until you prove you are not with him for the attitude. Finally please don't judge me, I am 1000 times better than you.
: You're really not worth the time of day Victor, but I can't just sit back and tolerate your nastiness. I think I can safely say that YOU are the one who should leave this message board and stop bothering us with your horrible comments. I don't think I've ever read a single POSITIVE word or posting from you, especially regarding Greek Muslims. You're always full of negativity and constantly being rude.
: Is something troubling you? In all your previous postings you've found a way to exalt yourself and your "pure" Greekness, and managed to put down other people. You know, many people with such harsh communication skills often are experiencing an underlying sense of inadequecy or insecurity. Is there something you're hiding from us Victor? Please feel free to share with the message board. your fellow greeks may have some good advice, because after all that is what we EXPECT from others when someone is dealing with a sensitive issue.
: I hope things work out for you someday...you seem VERY passionate--but you should try using it in a more constructive and positive manner.
: Lena you definitely don't sound Greek, please don't call yourself Greek. You are just the typical white trash American girl who grew up in a bad environment. Are you from New Jersey? Bet you have a tattoo on your butt! You are dating that guy to rebel against your parents and for the attitude. Please leave this message board and don't bother us with your horrible stories.
: : : : : i'm having a similar situation...my parents won't except my boyfriend of two years who is black. I was ready to leave my boyfriend and follow my parents' wishes, but i realized that the only choices that will make me happy in my life are MINE not my parents. I wouldn't be so concerned about his mother, as I would be with him. He needs to take that step and deal witht he consequences of his mother not liking his parents. Many greek children are taught to put the family's wishes before their own--which often leads to unhappiness for the child. He needs to understand that he will never be happy if he lets his mother be the ultimate decisionmaker in his life. I'm 23 yrs old and by staying with my boyfriend, I have been left on my own. I'm cut off financially from my family and my parents nor siblings will speak to me anymore. But, I also don't regret my choice---I'm with a man that respects and cares about very much. I've never been this happy in my life, and I know he is the one for me. I have no doubts.
: : : : : But, I keep trying to reach out to my family, calling and writing them. althought no one responds, i know i'm doing my part. I can't erase my parents' prejudices--they were raised in greece with different stereotypes and haven't been raised in my reality, where the color of someone skin is not a factor in my choice of relationships. But, I can be patient and hope that eventually they will accept me as I am, cause I am their daughter, and deserve their unconditional love. Your ex has to realize that not ALL his choices will please his mother, and he just has to take that step forward. If he really loves you and really wants to mature, then he will stick with you. If not, this issue of mother making his choices will come back to haunt him. Up until recently, i had always deferred to my parents' wishes, partly because I was still young and thought they knew better, partly because they'd give me a horrible guilt trip about how I don't want them to be happy if I don't do what they want. He needs to realize that once you hit a certain age, "mother knows best" just doesn't cut it. sometimes, our parents DON'T know what right for us.
: : : : : I wouldn't be as upset with his mother, as I would be with him. He needs to realize what HE really wants more. Does he want to have a healthy relationship with his girlfriend, or does he want to have an unhealthy relationshi with his mother, trying to make her happy all the time? Which is more important to him? If it's the latter, then move on. If you try to stay with him, his mother will be a constant thorn in the relationship. I'm sure you agree that you deserve a man who can stand up for himself and make his own decisions.
: : : : : Please don't think I am not being sensitive to him...i'm sure he feels caught between the two of you, and if his mother is anything like mine...the mental torment can be unbearable! I've spent nights crying myself to sleep because my parents' won't accept my choice.
: : : : : I really hope he changes his mind and stays loyal to his love for you...it will be one of the hardest, yet most liberating, decisions he'll ever make. At first, he may feel like he's betraying his mother, but if he didn't stay with you, he'd only be betraying himself. You two may want to consider counseling, or maybe he and his mother could speak to someone.
: : : : : Good luck with everything. I know how hard this can be, especially when you their is a child in the picture. don't forget---Your child should be your first and foremost priority here.
: : :
: : : :
: : : : Your parents are right. You should stay with your own kind. Greeks make up only a tiny percentage of the worlds population. You should be proud you are Greek.
: : : So what are you trying to say? If you don't date within your culture you are not proud to be Greek?
: : : I think that is an extremly ignorant perspective.....
Post a Followup