Posted by Maria on June 28, 2001 at 08:14:21:
In Reply to: Re: greek mother-in-law posted by Joanna on June 07, 2001 at 20:39:13:
: : : Can anybody give me advice on how to deal with a Greek mother in-law?? I myself am not Greek but I have a good knowledge of the Greek language.
: : : I can get on very well with her but sometimes I feel she is taking over my life. I was wandering if maybe it would be a good idea to try and talk to her about it?
: : Well, where should I begin? I am Greek and have a Greek mother-in-law as well and it still doesn't make it better. They will try to control as much as they can and throw sarcasm in as often as they can. They mean well but they are protecting their son. All you can do is talk to your husband about it and let him deal with her. If you go and discuss things with her, she will get offended, as they all do. I have gotten into so many arguments with my mother in law over her nagging and sarcasm but she ALWAYS takes it the wrong way. Please just let things go in one ear and out the other or you will go crazy.
: : Best of luck.
: : Georgia
: I don't know much about mother-inlaws personally so my advice might not be the best. But I'll just give you my opinion. I think talking may be a good idea to begin with. If she decides to continue with her attitude and behaviour, then ignoring her may be the best option. And be firm with what YOU want, that is, don't let her control your life. I hope your husband is not taking his mother's side in anything. After all he is YOUR husband and anything or anyone coming in between you both needs to be dealt with.
I am a Greek woman married to an Italian man. I am going through the same thing with my mother. She is very controlling and judgemental.
I tryed to ignore her comments and it lead to arguments.
I tryed to reasoning with her and this also lead into arguments.
I tryed not talking to her period and it lead into guilt feelings. (Which I think Greek mothers have the nack to make you feel really guilty if they want to; or want something)
I couldn't make her understand what she was doing to me was overbearing and causing me mental distress.
My husband has currently detached himself from my family and wants nothing to do with them because of this. (Truthfully I understand, who wants to be nagged this much in life if they don't have to)
Today because of her constant judgemental comments, and the attemtps to controll every situation in my life,
I visit my family as a seperate entity from my husband. This is an uncomfortable and annoying thing to go through.
My advise to you is to have a talk with your husband and express how you feel. In this situation only he can make her back off of you or else this will continue forever.
He will probably have to tell her several times. He should tell her that he has been noticing this, not that you had said anything to him.
If you feel that your husband will not do this for you, don't even bother telling him anything because it will backfire.
(My brother takes my mothers side in matters not his wifes. I think that Greek mothers have a way of sort of brain washing thier boys.)
If that doesn't work try talking to her yourself and expressing how you feel, but don't expect miracles.
If that doesn't work just TELL HER OFF. Just kidding... Don't try that.
I hope you have better luck than I did.
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