Posted by BigGeorge on October 31, 2000 at 19:25:28:
In Reply to: interracial dating??? posted by ronnie on October 28, 2000 at 04:23:55:
: this is my first posting...i was curious if anyone would be willing to share any experiences they've had with interracial dating/marriage. I'm first generation greek-american and in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, who is Jamaican. As most of you could imagine, my parents, who immigrated to the US in the late 70s, are not going to take the news well, when i finally tell them about the relationship. I've been raised with a very stong Greek background (go to church, speak the language fluently, all my relatives are still over in greece). as far as my parents go, they don't think i should serious date any boys until i'm out of college...
: i'm basically scared to death....I know i can't be the only one out there. I've tried to doing some research in the library and on the web to read about first generational experiences for Greek-American women (dealing with experiences on growing up, dating, marriage in America)...not much success. I figured this was my best chance.
: I'd also just like to see some feedback from the ladies...how strict your parents have been about dating (in general)? have all of you had the experience of sneaking around behind there backs? have your parents made any progress in adapting to american culture...
: no get me wrong...i'm not saying parents should "convert" to "American." I'm very VERY proud of my greek heritage and plan to keep it going strong as best as i can. what i mean have your parents understood that you don't live in Greece, and neither do they...you both live in the US now, and things here and not like they are or were in Greece.
: Any input/suggestions/advice/feedback/questions would be VERY much appreciated.
You're not alone in this issue. I for one am in a similar situation as you are in. My girlfriend and I have been dating since the beginning of this year and my mother still refuses to meet her - and she's from a russian orthodox background! My father has met her on a few occasions and absolutely loves her. The thing is that they feel that their 'ellinismo' is compromised if one of their children winds up with a non-greek. I call it the 'Greek Supremacist' mentality. Because they don't know or understand any other cultures, they fear them. If they fear it or don't understand it, you can't go near it either.
Now the fact that you have wound up with someone who is not just non-greek, but non-caucasian adds even more fire to the mix. But my advice to you would be that if you really love this guy and see a future with him - STICK TO YOUR GUNS!! Part of being an adult is not having to worry about your parent's approval in decisions you make in your life.
I applaud your efforts in following your heart - don't alienate it. There's some very good postings regarding inter-greek relationships on this message board. Read through them.
Good luck to you......
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